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  “You’re home, Nate,” Jordan said, placing a hand over his forehead. The touch was unexpected, and he flinched. “Sorry,” she amended and pulled her hand away from him. She opened her car door, flooding the interior with light. Nathan groaned loudly as the cursed brightness penetrated through his already pounding head. He heard her slam her door and come around to open his then she was at his side.

  “Come on.” She looped an arm under his and helped him shift his position in the seat so that he could place his feet on the ground. Buck was there then and pulled Nate upright.

  The pain was almost unbearable now. His jaw and head throbbed along with the rhythm of his pulse, and the lights on the porch burned his eyes. It took everything in him to walk along side of them and then hike up the five steps of the front porch. When had they become so steep? Jordan unlocked the door and they all went inside. When he glanced at the lit foyer, Nate tried to ignore the burning in his stomach that seemed to come each time that he did. The burning. The torment. The reminder. They pulled him through the living room to the master bedroom at the east side of the house and sat him on the bed. Buck threw the light on and Nate winced.

  He groaned then chucked his Stetson in the antique chair by his bed and began to unbutton his shirt.

  “Buck, go get him another ice pack and some painkillers,” Jordan said and moved in front of Nate. “Here let me,” she replied, moving his clumsy hands and replacing them with her own. She had him unbuttoned in two quick seconds, and he just looked up at her in disgust. Nate hated being helpless. She mistook his look for sarcasm. “What? I’ve had lots of practice,” she snickered.

  He smirked, “Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard…”

  “Ha, you can’t get me with that sharp tongue of yours, Nathan Butler. You’ll have to try harder than that!”

  “Yeah, well, what if I mention a few details about what I’ve heard?”

  “Oh, come on! Haven’t you had enough confrontation for one night?” She laughed again.

  He looked down in exhaustion. One would think he’d had enough. Hell! He couldn’t even stand on his own and his head felt like he’d put it through a vise. On second thought, he thought, let her win this round. It isn’t worth the fight.

  She knelt before him and pulled his jeans up to his knees so she could remove his cowboy boots, having him extend his legs as she roughly pulled them off.

  “What are we gonna do about those?” She motioned to his jeans, her eyebrow cocked in amusement. He looked down at himself. It would be worth it to embarrass her, to let her see the hard-on she’d suddenly inflicted, but he simply didn’t have the energy or patience tonight to damage anyone else.

  “To Hell with ‘em,” he replied and lay down gently on his side, letting his throbbing head rest on the pillow.

  Buck returned then and handed Jordan the ice pack, a glass of water, and two brownish-red pills.

  “Damn, Jor, you’re the only woman I know that can get a man in bed quick as that.” Buck chuckled. Jordan gave a laugh and shook her head. She leaned over Nate then and gently placed the ice pack on his cheek and the two pills in his hand, sitting the glass on the nightstand.

  “Nate,” her tone was serious now. “Please, try to take care of yourself. You’re not invincible, you know?”

  Nate popped the pills in his mouth, followed with a swig of water and lay back down, closing his eyes. The pack felt good against his aching jaw.

  “If you need anything, please call me. I’m leaving my number on your nightstand,” Jordan said.

  Nate just mumbled an, "Uh-huh.” He let himself drift into slumber as he heard their hushed voices leave his room. For now, he could forget. For now, he was at peace.

  Chapter 1

  Jordan Tate once again took the tattered newspaper from her purse and read it for, at least, the hundredth time. The page was torn from her folding and refolding it. The idea had popped into her head the minute she’d opened the Sunday, January 12th edition of the Abundance Times. The plan seemed insane, ridiculous, preposterous, even for her…

  Jordan had worked at the First Bank of Abundance for nearly ten years now. Her salary wasn’t high, but it was more than enough to compensate for all the things she liked to buy, as well as her new car and her apartment on Stafford Lane. Customer service came easy to her and so did numbers, but she was way overdue for a change. She was bored with the same people, day in and day out. She was tired of the same routine. It was far past getting old, and old was a word she didn’t appreciate because she herself was getting old. She continued to get closer and closer to thirty, and God help her when that day finally came.

  So, in light of her routine life, when she’d seen the ad in the newspaper that day, it had immediately caught her attention. It intrigued her. She’d sat up late at night for two weeks now trying to justify her decision. She had no justification, just plain determination. Determination and pity and well, something stronger…

  She’d watched Nate’s eyes that night at the bar almost a month ago. Eyes full of emptiness, blackness, nothingness. Eyes that saw only pain and rage. She’d felt helplessness and horror. She’d also felt a force pulling her towards him, wanting to help him, heal him, save him… Save him? From what? Himself?

  The idea was again, ridiculous, no doubt that would be an appropriate word to assess this situation, but when she’d seen the ad, it was as if she’d really had no choice but to consider it. Nathan Butler was, after all, the brother of her best friend, Natalie Kinsen. He was also someone she’d known practically her whole life and was, for all intents and purposes, her friend…or had been back in high school.

  That night in the bar had changed something though. After she’d taken him home and left to go home herself, she couldn’t seem to get him off her mind and out of her dreams. His eyes. His sadness. His self-destruction. It was as if he was silently, secretly, calling out for help and no one could hear him but her. But why did his life, or lack thereof, have anything to do with her?

  That’s what she’s been trying to get herself to understand! Why did it matter so much what Nate did with his life? What did it matter that he was an offensive and reckless jerk? A jerk who had started to become an endangerment to himself and others? Since when did she care? Well, of course she cared… but…well, simply put, Nathan Butler was none of her business.

  But, somehow, she’d made him her business that night.

  She had no idea what he felt. How could anyone know the pain he was going through? Being forced to kill someone, even if it had been in self-defense, would be a difficult burden to bear, despite who it was that Nathan had killed.

  Troy Cameron was a serial murderer, rapist and child molester. As Scottie had said that night, he deserved to die, especially after he’d tried to kill Natalie and had killed her unborn child. Jordan also remembered what Nathan had said in return, “That isn’t for you to decide”. And he’d meant it. Perhaps Nathan felt that it hadn’t been his right to kill Troy. Perhaps he felt as if he’d been wrong. Perhaps…

  Well, of course, there were many emotions to what he probably felt, she was sure. She could be sympathetic, but she had no idea how much pain Nathan was truly in. No one did, but no one blamed him either for what he’d done. It had been an open and shut case for both the town and for the FBI. They’d deemed it a justifiable homicide. Nathan may be a Hell-raiser, but his values and his record were still intact…for now at least.

  She let her eyes breeze the page, again, and read, again, silently to herself:

  HELP WANTED: Administrative assistant needed for busy horse ranch. Salary competitive. Holidays off. Room and board provided. Ask for Nate.

  The ad listed Nathan’s cell phone number.

  Nathan needed help. He was asking for it in the paper, but she heard the call even deeper. So, the question was, would she return his call or would she heed his warning?

  Two weeks and three days and not a peep… So much for advertising, Nathan Butler thought to himself as he tried to once ag
ain balance the behind—make that way beyond behind— checkbook. What was his problem with numbers? Weren’t men supposed to be good at math?

  He almost jumped out of his seat when the office phone rang loudly beside him. He nearly knocked it off the desk with his foot as he propelled his legs down off the desk and picked up the receiver.

  “Starlight Valley Stables,” he answered in his professional voice, coming to sit upright.

  “Yeah, boss!” It was current ranch hand turned temporary cook, Eric. Eric was a friendly, happy-go-lucky, goof ball of a hard worker and fate tended to be on Nate’s side when he’d hired him just three months ago. Eric was not only great with the horses, he could also cook something more appealing than bacon and beans. Eric reminded Nathan of himself not too long ago before his life had gone to Hell in a hand basket.

  “What’s up, Emeril?” That was their new nickname for Eric.

  “Well, I could tell you, but I won’t disgrace this pretty young lady’s ears, boss.” He gave a laugh. He then whispered into the phone, “It appears you got some company, El Jefe. So, you probably need to get your tail up here, pronto.”

  “I’m on my way,” Nate grumbled back.

  Nathan hung the phone up and got to his feet. If he could feel excitement like any other human being, the feeling he suddenly had would have been it, but that was impossible. He headed out his office door and down the center aisle of the barn, waving to Cass and Billy Bob as he passed the stall they were working on.

  “Lunch time already, boss?” Billy Bob asked in his deep drawl.

  Nate looked at his watch. “Getting close. I’ll let you know.”

  “’K.”

  He headed out the barn door and up the old dirt trail to the back of the house.

  Who could possibly have come to see him? It wasn’t Natalie, Eric would have recognized her and told Nathan that his sister had come calling, to be on his best behavior. Could it be someone answering the ad? No! No one had even called. Why would they come knocking on his door?

  Odd… Had he forgotten to pay any bills this month? Last month? Dammit, he needed a secretary in the worst of ways…

  He was on the screened-in back porch and headed through the back door when he heard the husky, female voice he immediately recognized. He followed the musical laughter through the dining room and through the swinging doors of the kitchen.

  Jordan Tate stood just opposite Eric propped against the kitchen island. The short and simple black dress she wore did more than wonders for her voluptuous figure, complimenting all the right parts. He gulped. She looked like a demigoddess with her curly, wild auburn hair, make-up defined eyes, and blood red lips.

  For the first time in…well, he couldn’t even remember when, Nate felt desire. Pure and simple. The way he’d looked at her that night in the bar was different. He’d been drinking and he was horny. This was…well, it was different. This was a new emotion. He was used to feeling numb, cold, hard; anything but warmth. This feeling was unwelcome but relentless as it coursed through his system. When her whiskey brown eyes fell on him, the feeling intensified. A soft smile fell across her lips and he fought everything inside himself not to smile back at her.

  “Jordan! What a surprise!” That much was true… “What brings you to this neck of the woods?”

  Her eyes gave him the once over and he felt his body heat rise even higher. “Well, Nate. I wanted to pay you a visit.”

  “Oh? Did my sister have anything to do with this?” Leave it to Natalie to send someone to check up on him.

  “Actually, Natalie doesn’t know I’m here. I came of my own accord.”

  Hmmm… Interesting. What on earth could she possibly want? At that moment he rather wished it was for a sexual offer. He would be more than willing to oblige her, although, he knew Jordan wasn’t exactly that type of woman.

  “Well, uh, do you want anything to drink or?” Nate asked. She shook her head. “Well, shall we?” He extended his hand toward the living room and she waved at Eric as she exited the kitchen doors. Nate gave Eric a suspicious glance and Eric mouthed something that looked like, “You lucky son of a bitch”. Nate just smirked and shook his head. That was the best he could do, laughter was a missed expression on him.

  Nate tried hard not to stare after Jordan’s nicely rounded backside as she sat herself down on the couch. He came around the old wooden coffee table and sat at the opposite end, spreading his arms out across the back of the couch and crossing his ankles. Then he waited for her to speak, trying to appear indifferent to her presence.

  “I have a proposal for you, Nate,” she began.

  “A proposal?” Now this really was getting interesting…

  “Yes, I saw your ad in the paper…” So, the ad wasn’t a lost cause. “And I have come to interview for the position.”

  Nate tried his damnedest to hide the newest addition to the emotions he was feeling today; shock. Was she out of her mind? He again feigned indifference.

  “Why?”

  “Why?” She looked surprised that he would ask her that. “Well, for one thing, I am more than qualified for the position. I’ve been doing invoicing and bookkeeping for over twelve years now.”

  “You would want to quit your job at the bank?” His eyebrows went up in disbelief.

  “Yes.”

  “And work and live here?”

  “Well, I already have a place to live so I wouldn’t need-”

  “Yes, but unfortunately, that’s part of the deal.”

  “Why?” Her thin, well arched eyebrows drew in confusion. Why, indeed.

  “Well, because I need someone who is willing to get up at the butt crack of dawn to cook breakfast for six hungry men every morning, do various chores around the house, plus all my bookkeeping and paperwork, make lunch and dinner, and I would really like for someone to answer my business and personal calls as well, and if I have someone here all the time then all that can get done.”

  She looked at him for several silent moments, first in surprise, then what looked like anger then embarrassment before she said, “Oh, I, uh… I didn’t realize you were looking for…well…like a…live-in maid.”

  He blew out a half laugh, an expiration of breath with a snarl more like it. “That’s exactly what I’m looking for… only one who can do some serious bookkeeping.”

  “Oh!” She seemed to have trouble with that then looked up at him, her brows drawn together once again. “Then why didn’t you say that in your ad?”

  “Yeah, right! I could see that one getting me a ton of calls.” He rolled his eyes. “I can’t even get a single response for the ad I posted in the first place.”

  Her expression changed then and pity took its place. This angered him.

  “Well, thanks for coming by, Jordan. I appreciate your effort…” He prepared to stand.

  “Well, actually, Nate. I, uh, I would still like to be considered for the position.”

  “What?” Had he heard her right?

  “I want…”

  “I heard what you said, but why? Are you crazy?”

  Once again her brows drew. “No!”

  “Then why in the hell would you want to come work for a rude asshole like me? And live in the same house as me? And eat at the dinner table with me every night?” Ok, he’d made his point!

  The look she gave him was incredulous. “If you were so opposed to someone coming to work for you then why’d you put the ad in the paper?”

  “I’m just being honest here, Jordan. I know you! You know me! You would honestly rather work for me than at the bank?”

  “Actually, yes. I would.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m bored.” That was the best she had come up with?

  He blinked several times before responding. “And?”

  “And I need a change. Besides, I’m one hell of a cook, damn good with numbers and I enjoy housework.” Yup, she’s officially lost it, he decided. How the hell could anyone enjoy housework? The dishes... The never-endi
ng pile of laundry and… dusting… Ugh!

  “You probably want to think on this a bit more...”

  “No, I don’t think I do.” Her tone was steady.

  “So, you really want to work for me?”

  “Yes, I really do.”

  This took him off guard for several moments. Had this really been all of her own accord, as she’d said? Or had his sister had anything to do with this? He wondered. “And Nat has no idea that you’re here?”

  “None.” He waited to see the lie hit her eyes, but no change happened as he’d expected. Damn! She was really telling the truth. She wanted to work for him! But why? Truly? Oh, well, he thought. At least he would finally get organized.

  “The salary, I’m sure, won’t be as much as you’re making now…It’ll be about 25 a year.”

  “That’s fair.” If she said so…

  “You’ll be expected to have three meals a day for me and my hands as well as yourself. And take care of the house of course. Do the bookkeeping, filing, invoicing, and answer the phones. Organize my schedule, plan meetings, pay bills, etc. You’ll have two days off a week. You can pick those! You can also have Christmas and Thanksgiving off, others can be negotiable if you’d like… Would you like to see your room?”

  She hesitated, then perked up and smiled. “Sure.”

  “Ok.” He stood and motioned for her to follow him. They passed back through the foyer and up the old oak stairs. The antique curio cabinet was still in the same place and, as usual, the burning inside his chest began as he saw it. He let it engulf him; it was his price to pay for taking Troy’s life.

  He hadn’t noticed that Jordan had stopped in the center of the staircase until he looked back from her silence. She was looking at one of the pictures that lined the wall of the stairwell. She was smiling at it and touched the frame.